Online Therapy Can Help People With Dependent Personality Disorder (People Pleasing).

As an online mental health therapist, I understand that people-pleasing can be a difficult pattern of behavior to break. Individuals who feel the need to please others may do so out of fear of rejection, insecurity, or a desire to be well-liked. They may believe that if they stop pleasing others, they will be abandoned and unloved, or that they will disappoint others and face negative consequences.

People-pleasing is related to Dependent Personality Disorder and the Masochistic Personality type, which correspond with Dependent Personality. Individuals who engage in people-pleasing behaviors may have low self-worth, accommodate everyone else’s needs, undermine their own needs, and have little self-awareness. They may also feel valuable when complying with others, value praise from others, and have difficulty asserting themselves or saying no.

The root of people-pleasing behavior may be rooted in early relationships, where a person had to earn their parent's love and affection, or the parent was emotionally unavailable or inconsistent. Seeking approval and validation from others is a hallmark trait of a people-pleaser, and they may be conflict-avoidant and tell white lies to spare others.

People who engage in genuine acts of kindness and generosity have healthy self-regard and know what they value and find meaningful. However, people-pleasers do not have high self-regard and need to tend to the needs of others to fulfill their own emotional needs. Women are more likely to engage in people-pleasing behaviors, as they are taught to be more passive and less aggressive.

Being a people-pleaser can frustrate others, as the person who does everything for everyone takes away the personal agency of others. They may feel taken advantage of or have strings attached to their help. Learning to set boundaries is key to overcoming people-pleasing behaviors, as it allows individuals to know when to say no and prioritize their own needs. Self-compassion can also be helpful in valuing oneself and understanding one's beliefs, emotions, and needs. With the right support, individuals can break the cycle of people-pleasing and improve their overall well-being.